Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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