I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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