Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
