One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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