i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
