haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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