Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
