she woke up with a sticky ear
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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