I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm always down for nudity.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
