i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
