Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Congratulations! We have a period
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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