Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
