Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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