I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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