Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
