Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
