I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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