Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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