For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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