she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
