My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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