when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
