Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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