I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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