with your own penis?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
