dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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