So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
