We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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