Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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