The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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