I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
