lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
