I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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