It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
