I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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