Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
