3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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