I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
