Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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