A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think people are normalizing furries
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
