Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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