so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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