You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
