I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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