I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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