i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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