my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
