if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
