sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
