Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
