When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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